My laptop hard drive died so I had to take it in to Best Buy for repair. After it gets repaired I will update this (probably make a video) to let everyone know what is happening with me and my life.
Until then, I’ll have to keep you in suspense…
My wife told me the other night she wanted a divorce because she wasn’t in love with me anymore. Naturally, I was devastated. I became more devastated when I realized that it was my fault.
She was ready to end it no matter what. But I had things to say first. And I’ve spent the last several days saying things to her. Things I’ve had stuffed inside for years. I’ve never been this open before… I’ve never been able too.
I won’t be posting in here for a while. I need to take a break and evaluate some things in my life. I need to think about many things that need to change. I need to figure out how to get back on track with many things that have gone off course.
When/if I get this done then I’ll be back.
I went and kidnapped my mom from Nebraska last Sunday. She has been staying with us ever since. I have to take her back home on Saturday. We’re going to stop at the casino for a little bit before heading back. Just put a few bucks in the slots and leave with our winnings (or losings depending on how lucky we are).
Things have been going good this week. Mom, the kids, and I have been hanging out quite a bit. Haven’t really done too much though. We went to the lake, and the park, and ummm.. that’s about it.
I’m hoping that by bringing my mom here for a week that she’ll decide to move to Topeka. The only thing is getting her set up here the same way she is in Nebraska. She’s disabled and has lots of assistance in Nebraska that I’m not sure she could get here. For instance, there is a place in Nebraska that pays her rent for her since she lives on a very limited income. I’m not sure if there’s such a place here in Kansas. She certainly couldn’t afford the price for rent here in Topeka. I don’t know… We’ll see what we can do.
So after some long, hard thinking. I’ve decided to go back to work doing something. Right now I’d prefer something with minimal public interaction due to my social anxiety disorder. I’m thinking some kind of night shift work. Perhaps unloading trucks and stocking shelves at Wal-Mart or something similar.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to be a cashier or any crap like that like I was years ago at Dillon’s. I couldn’t handle that. But something that doesn’t deal with the public.
So I’ve been looking into that and already have put in a couple of applications.
We’ll see how that goes and I’ll let you know. It would be odd indeed if this was no longer a stay-at home dad blog.
I just have to overcome my severe social anxiety and force myself out to get a job. It may take a few weeks but I’ll get there.
I’ll keep you updated on the job search…
So I’ve been told a couple times now: “Boy Josh, you’ve lost weight!” If that doesn’t make me feel good.
I’ve been working out on and off for the last two and a half months. I’m in a LOT better shape than I was 3 months ago and I’ve built quite a bit of lean muscle mass which helps boost my metabolism.
Our scale is broke so I have no idea how much I weigh and really don’t care. Right now I’m just concentrating on my workouts and improving my fitness level and building muscle, which will in turn burn fat.
I haven’t even been worried too much about what I eat and how much. I eat when I’m hungry and I eat whatever’s available. Whether it’s McDonald’s cheeseburgers or fruit and veggies.
I stopped obsessing over what I eat because my metobolism has increased so much that I can pretty much eat anything now and not worry about it sticking to my ribs. In fact, I can probably eat anything and still continue to lose weight. Though a lot slower than if I was eating a reduced calorie diet. But who the hell likes eating LESS? Not me! I love to eat which is one reason why I got so fat in the first place. Except now I can eat a lot and then turn around and burn it off by exercising!
Speaking of exercising, I think I’ll go do a 20 minute morning warmup workout to get my metabolism pumping…. Have a wonderful, warm Spring day everyone!
So Gabriel was upstairs in his room earlier and he was SUPPOSED to be taking a nap. Apparently he thought it would be fun to take off his diaper, shit all over the place, and then paint the wall with it!
Now I get the joy of preparing myself to go clean this up! I hope we have some super stain remover somewhere because this is going to be a hell of a chore.
I guess I’d better get ready to go clean up the mess. I think I’ll have some lunch first though.
Click below to see the picture of the shitty destruction. If poop makes you puke then don’t click below.
If you landed directly on this post then there’s nothing for you to click, you’ve already seen it, and I’m sorry for the trauma.
Speeding by at 100x faster than normal.
A view from the bedroom window:
When I’m bored I sit and watch the cars and clouds go by.
Yes, I’m easily amused when I’m bored.
A lot of people are freaking out over Flickr’s new video service. I think it’s a great idea if people use it how it’s intended to be used.
Flickr only gives you 1.5 minutes of maximum video time to use. The reason for the limited time is because Flickr video is intended to be used to capture brief moments of time similar to a photo…except..well…it’s a video!
Here’s one I made of Gabriel attempting to understand what he’s supposed to do with his birthday candles. He can’t figure it out so someone finally blows the candles out for him. I call it “Make A Wish”.
I’ve decided that along with changing my lifestyle by becoming healthy and fit that I would also change my looks too. So I decided to shave off my mustache and just stick with a goatee. I’ve had a full mustache/goatee thing for around 4 years now and I’ve grown kind of tired of it. Especially after the other morning while I was trying to eat my cereal and all I was getting in my mouth was hair from my overgrown mustache.
So I went in to the bathroom and shaved it off. My daughter freaked out quite a bit because she doesn’t ever remember seeing me without a mustache.
I think that I look better and I think I’ll stick with this look for a while 
Before and After
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