I Must Be Strong

I find it odd that during the month my mom was in the hospital dying of cancer, I never cried, never let it get to me, and I stayed strong.
Now that she’s gone, it’s hit me like a ton of bricks, I have moments where I just feel like spontaneously crying, and I’m just weak, drained, and depressed.

Today is my wife’s 31st birthday and I just sat around starting off into space. Then I laid in bed, cried a bit, and then fell asleep for two hours until she went to work.

I can’t let this get to me. I miss my mom terribly, but I have a wife and 4 kids who need me too. So I must be strong and try to move past this and not let it consume me.

Jack

For some reason, when I saw this picture over on Jay’s Blog I had terrible images of the best cat I’ve ever owned…whom I killed in the dryer about three years ago. The picture just gave me images of Jack tumbling helplessly in the dryer…. (Sorry Jay, I LIKE your picture. 🙂 I think I’m still a bit traumatized about this incident though…)

I’ve never been so upset over an animal as I was at finding out my cat buddy, Jack, had been in the dryer sleeping when I threw a comforter in there to dry. Threw it right on top of him and shut the door and started the dryer. I didn’t know he was in there. I DID know that he slept in there once in a while. But like an IDIOT, I didn’t think to check in there before I tossed in the comforter. And it didn’t register in my brain at the time that after I put the comforter in there and started the dryer – that an unusual thumping noise began coming from inside the dryer which couldn’t be caused by a light, soft comforter.
Now this was late at night and I was going to wait for the comforter to dry so I could take it upstairs and put it on the bed before I crawled in with my wife…but I was too tired and couldn’t wait for it to finish drying…so I went to bed.

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